Welcome Clueless Cleaners of America!
Are you Clueless and have a cleaning challenge? You are at the right place! Select your city and browse through the questions. Or use the search box above. Professor Q will look up an answer for you. Probably, he has already looked it up.
About Professor Q....
BAVARIA GERMANY: Professor Q was born and raised in Germany where his family raised grapes and made wine on the steep hillsides along the Rhine River in Bavaria. The family enjoyed their own wine very much and many of them ended up drowning in the Rhine.
A LEGAL IMMIGRANT: The Professor finally got a degree in psychology and emigrated to the United States where he rose to a lofty government position as an Assistant Deputy Director with the United States Department of Rock and Gravel.
AN UNBIASED ALTERNATIVE: His interest in all forms of aggregate led him to wonder if there was any other way to make a living. So he researched the Internet to see if there were solutions to the problems of dirt that are so often associated with gravel in particular. Discovering that many informative cleaning websites were actually just selling cleaning products, he decided to provide an unbiased and uneducated cleaning question alternative for the truly clueless.
A MIXED MARRIAGE: As is the case with many American families these days, Professor Q is fictitious, although his wife is not and she sometimes comments on the cleaning solutions he uncovers from his research. (For example, lots of experts recommend using vinegar as a cleaning agent and Professor Q’s wife remembers that her older sister rinsed her hair out with a vinegar solution and she almost always stunk to high heaven. One women’s opinion for what it is worth.)
The Clueless in America...
AVERAGE IQ AMERICA: The average IQ of Americans is now 98. Half of the people have lower intelligence than that! And these happy folks are driving two ton vehicles down the road at 70 miles per hour right next to you. They elected George Bush twice! The United States now ranks 18th behind many other industrialized counties in intellectual horsepower. Hong Kong tops out at an average IQ of 107. Professor Q is from Germany which has managed an average IQ about 102. Their scientists put our astronauts on the moon. A few points can make a big difference.
HELP FOR THE CLUELESS: Since our own Professor Q has a real good IQ, and he knows how to look things up, he’s on the job to help the Clueless of America. He’s a real nice guy and he believes that just because you’re Clueless doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be clean!
About Professor Q....
BAVARIA GERMANY: Professor Q was born and raised in Germany where his family raised grapes and made wine on the steep hillsides along the Rhine River in Bavaria. The family enjoyed their own wine very much and many of them ended up drowning in the Rhine.
A LEGAL IMMIGRANT: The Professor finally got a degree in psychology and emigrated to the United States where he rose to a lofty government position as an Assistant Deputy Director with the United States Department of Rock and Gravel.
AN UNBIASED ALTERNATIVE: His interest in all forms of aggregate led him to wonder if there was any other way to make a living. So he researched the Internet to see if there were solutions to the problems of dirt that are so often associated with gravel in particular. Discovering that many informative cleaning websites were actually just selling cleaning products, he decided to provide an unbiased and uneducated cleaning question alternative for the truly clueless.
A MIXED MARRIAGE: As is the case with many American families these days, Professor Q is fictitious, although his wife is not and she sometimes comments on the cleaning solutions he uncovers from his research. (For example, lots of experts recommend using vinegar as a cleaning agent and Professor Q’s wife remembers that her older sister rinsed her hair out with a vinegar solution and she almost always stunk to high heaven. One women’s opinion for what it is worth.)
The Clueless in America...
AVERAGE IQ AMERICA: The average IQ of Americans is now 98. Half of the people have lower intelligence than that! And these happy folks are driving two ton vehicles down the road at 70 miles per hour right next to you. They elected George Bush twice! The United States now ranks 18th behind many other industrialized counties in intellectual horsepower. Hong Kong tops out at an average IQ of 107. Professor Q is from Germany which has managed an average IQ about 102. Their scientists put our astronauts on the moon. A few points can make a big difference.
HELP FOR THE CLUELESS: Since our own Professor Q has a real good IQ, and he knows how to look things up, he’s on the job to help the Clueless of America. He’s a real nice guy and he believes that just because you’re Clueless doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be clean!
Small Print Disclaimer
It’s a sad thing to be clueless. Even while The Clueless Cleaner believes that cleaning can be fun and hopes to provide a bit of entertainment, Professor Q hopes that his research might point some folks in the right direction in terms of solving perplexing cleaning issues.
Here’s what you need to know. Other than being fictitious, Professor Q is just like you and me: Fallible! He knows nothing about cleaning! Out of the goodness of his heart he’ll look it up when someone has a truly clueless inquiry. He has dozens of reference books and of course the Internet. But he has not checked out these solutions personally and as far as he knows the experts he researches might be just as clueless as the rest of us. Probably not, but who knows?
So do your own due diligence before proceeding with any cleaning solution. Just one more slight word of caution. The Professor has noticed that a lot of these cleaning experts say the same thing over and over again, doubtlessly to cover their own tails. They say, “any one trying a cleaning solution should test it in an inconspicuous place–whether you are cleaning your silk blouse, your carpet or your driveway. Find an out of the way spot to make sure the cleaning solution doesn’t cause more problems than it cures.”
It’s a sad thing to be clueless. Even while The Clueless Cleaner believes that cleaning can be fun and hopes to provide a bit of entertainment, Professor Q hopes that his research might point some folks in the right direction in terms of solving perplexing cleaning issues.
Here’s what you need to know. Other than being fictitious, Professor Q is just like you and me: Fallible! He knows nothing about cleaning! Out of the goodness of his heart he’ll look it up when someone has a truly clueless inquiry. He has dozens of reference books and of course the Internet. But he has not checked out these solutions personally and as far as he knows the experts he researches might be just as clueless as the rest of us. Probably not, but who knows?
So do your own due diligence before proceeding with any cleaning solution. Just one more slight word of caution. The Professor has noticed that a lot of these cleaning experts say the same thing over and over again, doubtlessly to cover their own tails. They say, “any one trying a cleaning solution should test it in an inconspicuous place–whether you are cleaning your silk blouse, your carpet or your driveway. Find an out of the way spot to make sure the cleaning solution doesn’t cause more problems than it cures.”